Monday, September 19, 2011

this is my son, whom I love

The older I get, or rather the older my kids get, the more I understand God. Not in the sense of understanding my own perfection, although, well you know....but in the sense of the love He has for us, his children, and how pleased He can be with us.

I have 3 boys that I love immensely and every day I see more and more of me in them. Lets be honest, some of my traits I would rather NOT see in them, but those moments when they get it, when they exemplify what it means to be a Chupacabrita (little Chupacabra), the times when they live by those positive fundamental character traits that have made me the man I am today, in those moments I am filled with so much pride I just wanna pop.

Jamison is a rough and tumble kid. He likes to bang around, but like his old man he also wants to be pampered a bit when he is not feeling well. While I like that about him, I must say when I see his creativity and his gentleness it gets me. He is always coming up with random stories and pictures that scream out there is a creator inside, and I've never seen a kid that better lives out:

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Romans 12:15 

Dylan is my most analytical and ambitious of my brood. He is constantly probing and questioning what he hears, what he learns, and what he sees. Like the Bereans, he never takes things at face value, but is always striving to find the truth, not just someone's particular version of it. Now that can be frustrating at times, especially when I am the target of his cynicism, but I love that fact that he does not just believe because he is told to. It is that very same analysis that will help him become the success he is always striving to be.

Stephen, well Stephen is so much like me that it is hard. When I look at him, I see myself, I mean literally the kid looks just like me. However, its not just a similar size and facial structure that we share. My flaws, my struggles, my weaknesses I see in him.  At times it is hard to interact with him and not be overly critical, you know, like I'm trying to fix myself. Anyway, last night Stephen played his first football game ever and I got to see some of the good parts of me that are growing in him.  He played against men, but held his own. He is new on the team, but played with heart. We lost, but instead of bitching about the refs or blaming it on the coaches, Stephen had a determination in his eye that showed me he will do whatever it takes to help out his team.

When I see these things in my boys, the best parts of me that by the grace of God I have been able to pass on, I know, at least to some extent, the way God feels when we are living up to our potential. I mean, its His potential that we are trying to live up to so why wouldn't he be ecstatic when we live it out, right?

Now I must admit, when I think about God being proud of me the first thoughts that pop into my head are always a bit on the negative side. I begin looking back at all the times I have failed God, all the times I acted out of my own desires, regardless of the consequences, all the times I was a douche, but that is not what He wants for me. God doesn't want to sit back on his throne and berate his kids for their failures just like I don't, although sometimes I do.  He wants to praise them for their successes. 

Ok, ok, lets not get wrapped up in this statement either.  I know we need to be disciplined in order eliminate all the crap, but God is not some cosmic killjoy trying to point out how shitty we are.  He truly wants us to succeed and live abundantly!

Anyway, the more I see the good in me being lived out in my boys, knowing the joy it gives me, the more I want to please my own heavenly father in the same way.

I want to be more like Him so I truly live up to the identity I have as a follower of Christ.

"This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."


What good things about you do you see in your kids?  How can we pass on those good things and not just our flaws? How can we live up to our potential, to exemplify the character of Christ so we can please Him, today?

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